How to Find Relief from the Tension of Your Opposite
Written by admin // June 23, 2010 // Blogazine, LifeStyle // No comments
I had a situation in my life this past week where I had VERY different views than someone I call a friend. Our polar opposite positions created real tension and it caused me to focus on how to find relief.
As is typical with me, I had to start with my head to find my way to my heart – so here is how I began…
The plus and negative signs that you see at the end of a battery represent the electrical polarity. To make electricity, both poles are interdependent. It’s the same with us – we need to use competing characteristics and views to achieve big picture success.
The problem is we’re almost always attached to the energy of one pole and adopting the other looks very scary. For example, if we are prone to the masculine attribute of action, it’s hard to accept that the feminine energy principle of letting go and letting things evolve, can accomplish anything. (I can vouch for this personally.)
It’s part of human nature to make ourselves right and our opposite wrong but many who work with polarities describe it like breathing. We need to both inhale and exhale to live – neither one is better than the other. Both are necessary. If we only inhaled or only exhaled, we’d die. And those that focus on one pole, excluding the other not only can’t live balanced lives, they can’t be sustained. “Death” occurs.
Whenever we find ourselves in situations where there is a strong opposing force such as individual versus collective or change versus stability, the best thing that we can do is be aware of our preference. Then it’s up to us to pursue the benefits of the other, thoroughly understanding its attributes and advantages. If you align yourself definitively with one side, without considering its mirror opposite, you’ll get stuck. You’ll ultimately lose credibility and undermine your ability to achieve big picture success. It’s quite natural to argue in favor of your position but the best thing that you can do is start by touting the benefits of your opposite.
I’m pretty head-strong so I have a hard time getting there but here’s what I do. I start by asking a set of investigative questions such as: What is the worst thing that could happen if I stuck with my position? What is the best thing that could happen if I adopted my opposite? Then, as I discuss it, I constantly have to check myself to be sure that I am displaying good balance in my communication style – for example, am I listening as well as talking? Am I reassuring my polar opposites by stating the value of their position, rather than just expounding the value of mine? Ultimately this worked. I felt good in my heart that we had used the best of both poles and that we found the ideal result. Can you see the advantage of using parts of both poles to create flow between them, just like electricity?
The blogazine article was written by Betty-Ann Heggie, the Stilletto Chick. Read more from her entertaining blog,
