Find Style Find Confidence In Motherhood

I was shopping with a private client and she made a statement to me that surprised me…

Shopping for clothes scare me.

That stuck with me for several days, so I asked her try to expand on her statement.
Here is what she said…

“I would assume many women feel clothes shopping is scary… more so when we no longer look the way we did… clothes don’t fit the same as when we were teenagers.

Also [many] stay-at-home moms who let themselves go, feeling comfortable in sweats, fleece and easy to clean T-shirts… don’t like to stand in front of the three-way mirror and see who we have become.

Moms who have young kids along when they go shopping for clothes don’t have the time or energy to keep looking for more clothes if the initial ones they take into the dressing room don’t fit.

Most women over 30 don’t look good in the skin tight, tissue thin super long T-shirts that seem to be everywhere. Or we don’t know how to properly layer sweaters or jackets over such shirts.”

Because I CANNOT speak from experience, I enlisted my sister, Heather, for insight.

“I found because I was a different person after I became a mother, I could also remake myself in terms of my personal style. It was hard at first because building a new wardrobe takes time. That is what many women have to do after having children, build almost an entirely new wardrobe. Rob, for five years I had everything from a four to an eighteen in my closet as I became pregnant, gave birth, regained my body, then started it all over again. Most of my old favorites were long stretched out and now out of date.

It is both financially and physically daunting to think of rebuilding a wardrobe. I think it helps if moms can find a go-to store or website that fits their body type. I love J. Jill but can’t wear a thing. I also love Banana [Republic] and primarily shop from their outlet. Everything there fits me, always in the same size, I know the offerings are in-style and I won’t spend hours in the dressing room trying to find the correct size. Also, I always know what I am looking for before I go shopping. Gone are the days of window-shopping to ponder the latest offerings for the season! You have met your nephews!!!! Actually spent a lot of good time with them this year!! I have asked you for a must-have list and perused In Style magazine before I ever think of heading to the store. Each season I have a short list of things now to add to the wardrobe I have built over the last several years.

Another bit of trivia you may not know, many women’s feet grow a half or full size during pregnancy, never to return to their original size. My shoe wardrobe was decimated after having my boys!

Things that helped me during this time of transitions:
Concentrating on what I could control. I didn’t always have enough money to go buy every new item of clothing I wanted, but I could control what I put into my mouth and how often I exercised.

The jogging stroller and I were good friends. The double jogger and I were good friends. And today Caleb ran two miles with me while Blake biked with us. I can control how much I move, even if the resulting body does not look the same as it did when I was nineteen.

Loving the amazing body that had made my children. Sure, my stomach looked like a jet puffed marshmallow on and off for three years, but my body carried, and nourished, and delivered two amazing babies. Even when I didn’t like to look in the mirror I could find joy in the marvelous blessing of my body.

Getting one really great go-to outfit each season. I found as long as I knew I had something I looked great in, even if my friends had seen it ten times, I could be confident during this transitional time.”

My final thoughts:

Mothers sacrifice all their comforts and will work ceaselessly in the home without expecting anything, only to take care of their children. These sacrifices result in rewards of euphoria when a mother finds her children happy and healthy. As the children are beginning to achieve some independence, Mom may realize the woman in the mirror is unrecognizable and her constant outpouring of energy into her family has left her drained and possibly couch-ridden.

It is time to rediscover, reinvent, and get reacquainted with yourself. Accepting the good, bad, and ugly. It is all a part of life and the evolution. Reinvention’s path is individualized and will be a different experience for each. By acknowledging the things you remember about who you were and addressing the things you find you don’t like about yourself now, create the pathway to reinvention. What I find is that many mothers have forgotten they are beautiful and vibrant women.